When it comes to inanimate objects going sentient, we may have thought we’d seen it all. There’s been killer cars, plants, hair, heaters, beds, pants, tires, and yes, my personal favorite, tomatoes. But may I interest you in killer kites?
When I was first shown the Killer Kites promo to screen, I honestly have to admit I thought it was a hard pass. Then I watched the trailer and belted out laughter at work painting occupied offices. (Yes, writers have day jobs.) Needless to say, it had me sold, and I was in.
Killer Kites (2023) Synopsis
Abby inherits an old kite, but not just any old kite. This one is a bloodthirsty killer!
Are you still with me? Okay.
Well, admittedly, I kinda dig this poster.
Killer Kites is a 2023 American comedy horror film about a young woman who inherits a bloodthirsty old kite. Directed by Paul Dale and Austin Frosch (Sewer Gators 2022). The By The Horns production stars Austin Naulty (Black Bird 2022), Manon Pages (The Purge 2019), and Carter Simoneaux (Silent but Deadly 2017).
Abby’s grandmother dies, and she inherits a simple, old kite. Unimpressed, she hands it off to her brother, who is found dead the next day. Her friend, Daniel, thinks he was killed by the kite, which is controlled by a supernatural force or a “main kite.” While searching for the truth, Abby is tangled in a strange supernatural plot where this killer kite continues to unalive victims. Once the kite starts racking up a body count, it is up to Abby, Daniel, and their friends to bring it back down to Earth permanently.
“Are kites really killing people? Why are they killing people? Why can’t they kill my ex-wife while they’re at it?” – News Reporter
“Hold on. Don’t order lunch without me. I gotta call this woman and tell her that her brother is dead.” – Detective #1
From the open credits through the third act, I was laughing at Killer Kites, a smile on my face the whole time. It was as if The Trailer Park Boys and the gang from Always Sunny made a horror movie. Killer Kites is hyper-aware of how silly it is, and it doesn’t take itself seriously at all. The movie is extremely quotable. I would love to see the outtakes, because it seems the actors wanted to break character in every scene. The sound is rough. It seems to be shot on a GoPro or an iPhone. The visual FX is a punchline. The movie’s opening theme song is hilarious and ringtone worthy. But I honestly have to say it works.
“All kites love bread. Everyone knows that.” – The Oracle
Killer Kites (2023) Final Thoughts
There are hilarious lines and characters in this film. Killer Kites makes a nice pallet cleanser if you’ve just binged a show or have been watching anything serious or terribly bad. I always can admire a “why not” mentality expressed in any art medium. (Yes, I just said, “Art,” in an article about a movie called Killer Kites). The drive it takes to follow through with a goofy idea someone said aloud in a friend circle, to actually power through the inhibitors and say, “Why not, let’s make it,” is commendable, and I’m here for it.
If you want to laugh with some buds or don’t care about burning an hour, check out Killer Kites, now available on PLEX and digital.
Check out the trailer below!