PopHorror Let's Get Scared
If you weren’t alive in the 1990’s, it was a VERY different time period. Kids today that go around saying “six seven” might run into one of their parents that lived in the 90’s that will stand up and shout “I AM THE GREAT CORNHOLIO, I NEED TP FOR MY BUNGHOLE!” in response. In the days of Sega Genesis, Paula Abdul and Michael Jordan being cultural phenomenons, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the one and only Pamela Anderson. In 1995, someone decided to take Dark Horse comic hero Barb Wire and adapt a story into a movie. In 1996, we got BARB WIRE out of it.
Back in the 1990’s one of the most popular television shows was Baywatch. Created in 1989, heartthrob David Hasselhoff led a group of female lifeguards to make sure the beaches of California were safe. In 1992, they hired 25 year old blonde bombshell Pamela Anderson to be part of the Season 3 main cast that already featured Playboy playmate, and Tales From The Crypt alumni, Erika Eleniak (Bordello of Blood 1996). Essentially, the show was just an excuse to watch big breasted women run in slow motion on the beach. Pamela Anderson became an overnight sensation and was considered one of the most beautiful women of the decade. Naturally, she would be the perfect casting choice for a movie adaptation of BARB WIRE right?
Right around the same time, Dark Horse Comics created Barb Wire, a blonde bombshell heroine badass that lived in an alternate universe where the US was once again plunged into Civil War. The comic garnered enough attention that a film adaptation was agreed upon. Without even reading the script, Pam Anderson took one look at the character and said “I’ll do it.” The director would be second unit veteran David Hogan (Alien 3 1993) and even though the story was lifted from the comics, it looked VERY familiar.
A club owner in the middle of a war declares neutrality but leans toward the “resistance” despite the fascist regime breathing down the owner’s neck. An old flame arrives and needs help to get across “the border” with their spouse to continue the fighting. Am I talking about BARB WIRE? NO! I’m talking about the winner of Best Picture in 1943, Casablanca! Without going into a complete chronicle, Humphrey Bogart is running a club in French occupied Morocco during World War 2 when Ingrid Bergman shows up with her new hubby Paul Henreid demanding help to aid the resistance against Nazi Germany. Standing in their way is Major Heinreich Strassler, mob boss Signor Ferrari and off again, on again friend Captain Renault of the local police. Now let’s look at BARB WIRE.
Barbara Kopetski aka Barb Wire is the owner of the Hammerhead Club in Steel Harbor, a “free” city that’s neutral from the ongoing American Civil War. Running the local police is crooked crook Chief Willis (Xander Berkeley – Terminator 2 1991) and one of the barflies is her blind brother Charlie (Jack Noseworthy – Event Horizon 1997). One day her old flame Axel Hood (Temuera Morrison – Star Wars: Attack of The Clones 2002) and Dr. Devonshire (Victoria Rowell – Dumb & Dumber 1994) show up demanding refuge and help in their fight against the Congressional Dictorate. In response, the Dictorate has dispatched Colonel Pryzer (Steve Railsback – The Devil’s Rejects 2005) to stop Axel and Devonshire. After being double crossed by mob boss Big Fatso (Andre Rosey Brown – Fist of The North Star 1995) and the death of Charlie at the hands of the Dictorate, Barb Wire turns face and agrees to help the “United Front” in the Civil War. Will she take out Pryzer and help win the war? Watch BARB WIRE and find out.
Even though the movie followed the comic storyline, its easy to see where the comic got the story from. Same “neutral” club owner that used to freedom fight (Bogart/Anderson), same crooked police chief (Claude Rains/Berkeley), same fascist officer (Conrad Veidt/Railsback) same ex lover asking for help (Bergman/Morrison) and partner (Paul Henreid/Rowell), same crooked mob boss (Sydney Greenstreet/Brown)…..and hell even the “dumbass that gets killed early” had Peter Lorre in Casablanca in that role and Clint Howard (Ice Cream Man 1995) in BARB WIRE. The only difference was the radio DJ early in BARB WIRE that was too close for comfort from being a ripoff of Lynne Thigpen in The Warriors. No, I cannot dig that.
So, as a stand alone movie, was BARB WIRE good? Believe it or not, besides film critics, nobody cared. The movie trailer showed Pamela Anderson in hot black leather and that’s what fans came to see. They came to see Pam look hot, Casabanca ripoff be damned! Was the acting good? HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!! There’s “hammy” acting and then there’s full pork roast. Full pork roast would be an understatement. Even the veteran actors that have gone on to do good things like Morrison, Rowell, Railsback, Berkeley and Noseworthy hammed it up since it was a comic book movie. Anderson was never going to be Best Actress but she conveyed enough emotion to at least rise past Sofia Coppola levels. Was the plot easy to follow? Yes, considering they dumbed it down as much as possible. The better question is, was it watchable? THAT, it was. You had action scenes, plot twists and Temeura Morrison pissing off Anderson’s character as much as possible. Clint Howard as the frazzled idiot stick is always good for a laugh and the scene where Morrison tames Anderson’s “security” was actually funny.
So how did it do at the box office? Once again for you youngsters, back then comic book movies weren’t as received as they are today. If you weren’t a horny male, nobody else went. The movie’s budget was a mere 9 million and it still grossed just 3.8. BARB WIRE was nominated for 6 Razzies with Pam Anderson “winning” Worst New Star. Anderson was also nominated for Worst Actress by the Stinker’s (2 dudes that did a version of the Razzies 3 years before the first Razzies). Roger Ebert also noticed it was a ripoff of Casablanca but at least said the movie had energy enough to be fun. The bottom line was it was a low budget comic book movie starring the most popular eye candy of the time. Imagine Kim Kardashian in something similar in 2010 or Sydney Sweeney now.
Is there anything else to be said? BARB WIRE is a time capsule of a social climate long gone. The 90’s was the era of the gross with Ren & Stimpy, Beavis & Butthead and video games like Earthworm Jim & Boogerman. It was also a time in pro wrestling known as “Attitude Era” with scantly clad women, middle fingers and crotch chops galore. In 1996, teen boys and grown men wanted to see Pamela Anderson in tight leather showing off her goods and that’s what they got.
As time went on, heroines in movies would still be badass like Jennifer Lawrence in The Hunger Games, Daisy Ridley in Star Wars, Halle Berry as Catwoman and Uma Thurman in Kill Bill. None of them had the raw sexual appeal as Pamela Anderson though. Society’s tastes has changed in the last 30 years as well as no one was watching Star Wars to see Daisy Ridley in a thong or for Danai Gurira to be anything other than the ass kicker Okoye in Black Panther.
If you want to go back to the past to relive an era where being sensual was the way to go, and to see Pamela Anderson looking hot, go watch BARB WIRE. Its available for $3.99 on both Apple TV and Amazon Prime, a rare bargain!
