PopHorror Let's Get Scared
Who says there’s no truth in advertising?
You’re gonna need a bigger Goofy Meter to measure Bad CGI Sharks, the new indie horror comedy that asks the crucial question: “Do we need another wacky shark movie?” After viewing the trailer and other promotional materials, I can answer with a resounding, “Hell to the yes!”
Note: I’ll try to keep the shark puns to a minimum, but with a movie this meta and in-jokey, it won’t be easy.
Filmed for exactly $6,257.34, Bad CGI Sharks is the brainchild of LA-based filmmakers Matteo Molinari (Silence of the Hams 1994) and brothers Matthew and Jason Ellsworth (Potluck 2012). The trio share directorial duties under a combination of their names, MaJaMa. The three often talk over each other and finish each other’s sentences, and to further their hive-mind image, insist that all quotes are attributed to MaJaMa, natch.
In Bad CGI Sharks, estranged brothers Matthew and Jason (the brothers play characters named after themselves) have put aside their differences to flood the market with yet another shark movie.
How hard could it be, right?
“There’s nothing worse than when a shark movie gets too caught up in character dialogue,” says a brainstorming Jason in the film’s trailer, trying to keep the plot moving smoothly from kill to kill.
The character versions of the brothers, of course, are polar opposites of each other, with Matthew giving off uptight 9-5 vibes, and Jason looking like he may have once had Bam Margera posters on the wall of his basement apartment. Hilarity ensues when their script somehow becomes self aware and sends a dreadful-looking CG animated shark to kill the bickering siblings. They finally stop arguing long enough to take a stand against what can only laughingly be called “intellectual property.”
“This is OUR movie, and I’ll be damned if I let some vindictive digital fish kill off the two stars!” says Jason, in what’s clearly the film’s Marshalling Our Courage scene.
And, just in case I haven’t been clear up to this point: this is a REALLY low-budget shark. It looks like a giant Shark Bites fruit snack come to life, floating blimp-like over the pavement in a way that’s oddly unsettling. Hell, the creature looks like something that would have chased Charlie Sheen’s animated dog in the execrable Foodfight! (2012). (This is NOT an equivalency of the two films. I’m 100 percent positive Bad CGI Sharks is far superior, at least in my book.) At one point, the shark is stalking an unsuspecting sidewalk victim. Before striking, the fish freezes, goes glitchy, and the word “rendering” appears. By the trailer’s end, more sharks get generated, and downtown gets turned into a concrete Amity Beach. (Hey, that’s just another Jaws reference, not a shark pun per se. I’m doing pretty well here, actually.)
All this begs the obvious question: “Why ANOTHER shark movie?”
“We are aware of the saturation of the genre,” said MaJaMa. “But we said, ‘Heck, vampires and zombies have run their course. We might squeeze something from sharks, if we move quickly.'”
And while all this is indeed corny and easy to file under “Beer Drinking Movie,” the film’s creators feel strongly that Bad CGI Sharks has something to say about the waxing and waning bonds of brotherhood, and the power of artistic creation.
“One evening, we were talking about this trend of overly-serious tones in flicks,” said MaJaMa. “We said, ‘Would it be possible to write a low-budget monster movie, but with heart and humor?’ The answer was, ‘Probably not.’ But we tried, anyway.”
The three filmmakers hope to release Bad CGI Sharks close to Halloween, but said the process could get “bumpy” with key production players living in Los Angeles, Italy, and Japan.
“The movie is definitely not perfect, but it’s honest,” said MaJaMa. “We hope it’ll show.”
Keep up with Bad CGI Sharks‘ on Twitter at @BadCGISharks and www.badcgisharks.com. As soon as we get a release date, we’ll let you know!
