Adventures in British Cuisine! ‘GNAW’ (2008) – DVD Review

Opening with a graphic stating that 210,000 people go missing in the UK per year, and transitioning to a disheveled young girl running through the woods is never a precursor to a fun, family film. Director Gregory Mandry’s mean-spirited Gnaw never quite reaches the Texas Chainsaw Massacre heights the box art promises, but not for lack of trying.

Gnaw Synopsis

“A group of people staying in England discover that there are brutal cannibals in their midst.”

Have a look at the trailer!

Stop me if you heard this one before: 6 twenty-something friends are heading out for a weekend of relaxation, sex, and booze in a remote cottage…

Yeah, what’s the worst that could happen? In this case, you guessed it, cannibals. All the characters are here: the “horny couple” Ed (Hiram Bleetman; Zombie Diaries) and Hannah (Julia Vandoorne; Hereafter), “narcissist dickweed” Jack (Nigel Croft-Adams; Black Mail) and his stuck-up girlfriend Jill (Rachel Mitchem; EastEnders), the “introverted goth girl” Lorrie (Sara Dyan; Game of Thrones) whom Jack is banging on the side, and the “lovelorn outcast” Matt (Oliver Squires; Yoghurt).

Arriving at Blackstock Farms, the brooding gang is greeted with a delectable spread of country cooking, complete with some suspect hair and the welcoming weirdness of Mrs. Obadiah (Carrie Cohen; The S State). Their idyllic vacation is soon complicated by an unwanted pregnancy and the sneaking suspicion that Lorrie is being watched…

Gnaw

Despite the obvious TCM and Wrong Turn comparisons, Gnaw stands alone in that nothing really happens for a reason. Seriously, is the “Slaughterman” (Gary Faulkner, and “Fur Face” may have been a better moniker) killing and eating our protagonists because of some childhood trauma? Some psychotic break? To avenge some past injustice for his mother? Or is he just plain hungry and likes human flesh? This is NEVER answered! He just systematically starts stalking and killing, whilst his dear old mum cooks and serves the unholy meals to whomever is still around. I’m all for mindless killing machines, but sheesh man! Give me some background, however much of a stretch it might be!

Ultimately, Gnaw fails because, well, it lacks a real story. Sure, there are some gory set pieces, some suspenseful chase sequences, and a ham-fisted attempt at a “shock ending”, but there’s virtually no setup, and plot threads are introduced, but never developed, for whatever reason. Gnaw just happens. It’s a perfect film to pop in when friends are over for drinks and you don’t really have the capacity to pay attention to why the things onscreen are happening.  But, as a solid entry into the “cannibal family” sub-genre, it falls flat and leaves a funny taste in your mouth.

Gnaw

Gnaw is available now on DVD from MVD Visual at fine retailers.

About Tom Gleba

A life long fan of horror and ridiculous metal, I've spent my life: watching horror films, writing about them, occasionally making them, collecting them on physical media, and struggling to find meaning in Fulci's "Manhattan Baby"...

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