The Very Real Horror Of ‘THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT’ (2009) – Retro Review

There are a few films in my personal collection that I consider particularly brutal, and I only watch them once every so often. They’re not exactly light-hearted entertainment. The subject matter is gritty, real, and drawn out to an uncomfortable degree. Very realistic. Wes Craven’s original The Last House On The Left (1972) is one of those. With news that it was being remade, my first thought was the only way they could tell such a story this day and age would be if they watered it down to a point where it would be unrecognizable. However, The Last House On The Left (2009) turned out to be not only worthy of its predecessor, but superior in setting the stage for the very real horrors possible in this world and what we’re capable of when faced with such inconceivable horrors.

Mari Collingwood (Sara Paxton, Barbarian, 2022) is an avid and disciplined swimmer with Olympic Gold in her dreams. But her mother, Emma (Monica Potter, Saw, 2004), and father, John (Tony Goldwyn, Lovecraft Country, 2022) insist that it’s time to unwind. They are going away for the summer to their home by the lake. Suffering the recent loss of their son, Mari’s brother, they need the peaceful home 6 miles from the nearest neighbor, to spend time together and heal.

Once there, Mari looks forward to seeing her friend, Paige (Martha Maclsaac, Dead Before Dawn 3D, 2012) and with promises of calling to check in often, Emma and John let her take the car and plan on a nice dinner together for their first night away from home.

Paige and Mari make a questionable (but understandable at their age) decision to meet up with teenage drifter, Justin (Spencer Treat Clark, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, 2019) at his hotel room to score the best pot. Unfortunately, Justin’s father, Krug (Garret Dillahunt, Fear the Walking Dead, 2021) is an escaped convict, and his accomplices Sadie (Riki Lindhome, Pulse, 2006) and Francis (Aaron Paul, Breaking Bad, 2008) are a couple of psychotic criminals, themselves. And they’ve all returned to the hotel early to find Justin, the girls, and a newspaper announcing Krug’s escape.

The girls are taken hostage by the group, and after a few valiant attempts to escape, they are subjected to brutal acts of assault, humiliation, violence, and rape. While Paige doesn’t make it, Mari hangs on for dear life and fights to make it back to her family’s vacation home.

As a storm rolls in, Krug and his crew are stranded without a car, Francis is injured, and they come across a house near the lake where they ask to wait out the storm. Mari’s parents take them in, not knowing what has transpired in the woods. And the group takes shelter with two people who will not be so welcoming when they find out.

Director Dennis Iliadis’ The Last House On The Left (2009) is a strong reimagining of Wes Craven’s directorial debut. One that doesn’t try to overshadow the original or “update” it for a younger generation. While we can argue that it is more tame than the original, it is only in visual representation. The characters are well developed, the tone is consistent, the violence is unrelenting. One doesn’t have to endure prolonged scenes of unconscionable acts of violence to feel the same discomfort an audience felt in 1972. The only thing it does that the original wasn’t able to, was get a solid R rating from the MPAA without such a battle.

When I say valiant attempts at escape, I truly mean it. Yes, these girls made some questionable decisions in the first 20 minutes, but they are whip smart under pressure. Mari misdirects Krug on how to get to the nearest highway to ensure they head in the direction of her family’s lake house. She then attacks Sadie and attempts to jump out of the vehicle, causing a major accident. While this does little more than stun and injure their attackers, it does give Paige a chance to run. Neither girl tries to pull the other along with her. They just run when they get their chance. Is this selfish? No. Not at all. It’s smart.

Their escape attempts (as we are all painfully aware) are futile, and Krug’s group proceed to humiliate and rape Mari, and murder Paige.

If you are a fan of the original and aware of Mari’s fate, there is a brilliant moment of suspense that the remake can offer in Mari’s attempt to swim for her life. By building her backstory so strongly with very little exposition, they’ve given us the possibility of a better outcome for her. A fantastic display of solid writing by Adam Ellica (Delirium, 2018) and Carl Ellsworth (Unhinged, 2020).

The ultimate appeal to both iterations of this story will always be the parents. What parent whose child has been hurt by someone in such a vicious manner wouldn’t want to exact revenge on the perpetrators? The performances in The Last House On The Left (2009) are (dare I say) superior to the original by all accounts. And without the occasional shift in tone as with the blundering officers in the original, or misplaced light-hearted tunes over rather serious scenes, this is what allows it to make the same impact emotionally as the gritty no-holds-barred original film.

If you already know how the story goes or if you’re experiencing it for the first time, you are creeped out and disgusted by Krug and his henchmen. You want a better outcome for these girls. You would do the same thing if you were in Mari’s parents’ shoes.

While it may never end up on the Video Nasties list as one of the most depraved films of all time, I consider it one of the most effective remakes of a beloved classic. And let’s be honest, it’s no Pixar film for the kiddos. While the torture and death may not be confrontational and drawn out as it was in the days of the grindhouse films, I’d venture to say they went through their fair share of stage blood for this one.

All things considered, the girls put up one hell of a fight. The bad guys learned not to mess with anyone’s kid. And horror has one of it’s greatest happy endings.

About Adrian Lee

Adrian has been a part of the horror community for over 30 years in some capacity. She's a special effects makeup artist, haunted attraction actress, and writer. She's here to shame the family name and continue spreading horror throughout the land.

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