PopHorror Let's Get Scared
In 2008, the masses flocked to the theaters to see the film adaptation of Stephenie Meyer’s hit novel Twilight. At the time, the target young adult audience was captivated by the film, helping it rake in $407 million at the box office. Finally, they could see brought to life on screen the unorthodox love story of high schooler Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart, Cold Creek Manor 2003 (our review) and vampire teen Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson, The Batman 2022).
However, it’s been 15 years, and those young adults are now in their late 20s and 30s, and are looking at Twilight in a different, more humorous light. Many now see what’s supposed to be a moody romantic drama as a comedy, largely because of the writing and acting. From Stewart’s twitchy facial expressions to lines like, “You better hold on tight, spider monkey,” to Jasper Cullen’s (Jackson Rathbone, WarHunt 2022 (our interview) deadpan stare, laughable aspects have become more prominent with the passage of time. Plus, social media is running rampant with influencers who recreate such moments in over-the-top fashion, much to the delight of their audiences (Yasmine Sahid does a particularly uncanny impression of Jasper).
@ladyyasmina1 A cinematic masterpiece from the greatest romance film #twilightrenaissance #jasperhale #twilightnewmoon #thecullens
In honor of the movie’s 15th anniversary, let’s take a look at the 15 cringiest moments that are helping Twilight stand the test of time (just not in its originally intended way).
15. The Cullens’ dramatic entrance into the cafeteria
As the town’s resident vampires, the Cullens are supposed to keep a pretty low profile when around lots of humans, right? Well, the five Cullen kids do the exact opposite of this when entering the cafeteria on Bella’s first day of school. They practically walk in slow motion, paired up with their romantic partners: Rosalie (Nikki Reed, Thirteen 2003) and Emmet (Kellan Lutz, A Nightmare on Elm Street 2010), followed by Jasper and Alice (Ashley Greene, Afterman 2021). Alice even makes Jasper twirl her on the way to their table. All are dressed in white, except for poor, single Edward, who dons black and is forced to trail behind his coupled up foster siblings.
14. Edward protecting Bella
After escaping from her worst nightmare — prom dress shopping — and separating from her girlfriends to find a bookstore, Bella finds herself in another nightmare: being cornered by a creepy group of men. Luckily, Edward has some stalker tendencies, and, unbeknownst to Bella, is only a few feet away when she finds herself in this horrifying predicament. However, Edward’s go-to protective move isn’t to physically fight the guys (even though he quite literally could tear them to pieces) or yell at them. Rather, he breathes heavy and…wait for it…gives them a piercing death glare. While a bit out of the box, it works, and Edward is able to bring his beloved to safety.
13. The mushroom ravioli scene
Following the whole creepy men/death glare situation, Edward brings Bella to a restaurant for dinner, since she missed out on the meal with her friends. From start to finish, the entire scene is pretty cringey. There’s the waitress shamelessly flirting with Edward, Edward watching Bella not eat her mushroom ravioli, and Bella’s casual acceptance that her date can read minds. All of this is unfolding as Robert Pattinson’s tune “Let Me Sign” plays in the background.
12. “Your hand is so cold.”
After dinner, Edward is driving Bella home and has the heat on in the car. She tells him that she’s warm enough and, when both go to turn it down at the same time, their hands brush. It’s at this point Bella realizes that Edward’s skin is freezing. Yet once again, there’s some unintended comedy to the moment. First of all, their hands barely touch. Second, there’s Bella’s “shocked” reaction of a monotone, “Your hand is so cold.” Come on, Bella, give us a little more surprise!
11. “THE CULLENS DON’T COME HERE.”
Cringey moments in Twilight aren’t reserved for Bella and the vampires. The werewolves are guilty as well. Bella agrees to spend a beach day with Jessica (Anna Kendrick, Pitch Perfect 2012) and her other new friends at La Push, where Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner, Abduction 2011) and a few of his wolf brothers also happen to be. When it’s revealed that Bella asked Edward to join, and Bella asks Jacob’s friends if they know Edward, one of them mysteriously says, “The Cullens don’t come here.” He could’ve played it cool and simply said that, yes, they know him. But now, Bella is intrigued and Jacob has to deal with the repercussions of his cryptic buddy.
10. Edward lurking in Bella’s bedroom
After meeting Edward, Bella begins having dreams (or nightmares?) that he’s in her bedroom at night, watching her sleep. Later, she finds out that he is actually scaling the side of her house and climbing in through the window. This is cringey and creepy, and could only work in the world of Twilight. Could you imagine if this happened in real life? The brooding weirdo from biology class lurking in the bedroom of the daughter of the town’s chief of police?
9. Baseball with the Cullens
For a family of vampires, a thunderstorm doesn’t mean prime hunting weather or really anything that makes sense. Rather, it means it’s time to grab the bats and mitts because it’s baseball time! The Cullens don’t exactly look like the sportiest of families, and Rosalie calling Emmet her “monkey man” is just…cringe. And lets not forget when Victoria (Rachelle Lefevre, White House Down 2013) and her crew crash the game, with Edward and James (Cam Gigandet, The Roommate 2011) snarling at each other.
8. Edward trying to suck the venom out of Bella’s arm
Edward is determined to keep Bella safe, but unfortunately he’s unable to stop James from taking a big chomp into her arm. As the vampire venom spreads, Edward’s options are limited: he can let it overtake her and transform her into a vampire, or he can try and suck the venom out. He chooses the second, but it’s difficult — her blood, as Edward describes it, is like his own personal brand of heroin, and it’s difficult for him to stop drinking her blood once it’s venom-free. It’s supposed to be a high-stress, emotional scene, but there’s something about the wide-eyed look on Edward’s face as he sucks on Bella’s arm (and as Pattinson’s “Let Me Sign” once again plays in the background) that makes it a laugh-inducing moment.
7. Italiano at the Cullens’
The Cullens have been immortal vampires who survive on blood for centuries. Still, that doesn’t stop them from giving Italian cooking their best shot for Edward’s new girlfriend. However, the whole thing is pretty cringey, from Esme (Elizabeth Reaser, Ouija: Origin of Evil 2016) calling it “Italiano” to Jasper staring unblinkingly at Bella. Since he’s the newest addition to the Cullens, who survive on animal blood, he struggles to be around human blood. But this begs the question…how does he survive on a daily basis at school, surrounded by hundreds of teens?
6. The moving cannula tube
After the debacle at the ballet studio with James, Bella is recovering in the hospital. When this scene begins, she’s not fully awake yet, and is having visions of the events that just unfolded. A close-up of her face is shown, and her cannula tube is practically laying in her eyelashes. Yet once she’s completely conscious and the camera pans back, it’s sitting on her cheeks, as it should be. It’s likely that it was moved up so that audiences are instantly made aware of the hospital setting, but the traveling cannula tube hasn’t gone unnoticed by fans.
5. The ketchup bottle
Bella is adjusting to life in Forks with her dad Charlie Swan (Billy Burke, Red Riding Hood 2011), which means near-nightly dinners at the local diner. Both enjoy ketchup, but Charlie gives his daughter first dibs when they reach for it at the same time. Rather then squeeze or shake the bottle, Bella lightly waves it above her plate, expressionless as always.
4. “You better hold on tight, spider monkey.”
Once Edward and Bella establish that they’re going to be a thing, despite the fact that he can murder her at any given second, she can enjoy some of the perks that come along with dating the immortal. This includes running up trees at top speed. Before Edward takes off, he tells Bella, “You better hold on tight, spider monkey.” Why?? As someone who is usually serious and brooding, it’s a rather uncharacteristic line for Edward.
3. Edward’s sparkly skin
After Bella puts the clues together and comes to the realization that Edward is a vampire, she confronts him. Edward then informs Bella that she needs to see his true form, which can only be revealed in the sunlight. Does he have fangs? Horns? Some other sinister feature? Nope, he’s just sparkly. Maybe it’s the glitter that allows Bella to ignore the glaring red flags that Edward is waving around, including the lovely line of, “I wanted to kill you. I’ve never wanted a human’s blood so much in my life.” The two spend the afternoon laying in the grass and staring at each other.
2. Biology class
Bella’s first true encounter with Edward is when she walks into biology class and, thanks to the fan behind her, he catches a whiff of her scent. As he gags and covers his nose, Bella sniffs her shirt to see if she has body odor. It’s an uncomfortable moment, but their next biology lesson is even more cringey. Edward, trying to make small talk, asks how Bella likes the dreary weather in Forks. She responds, “I don’t really like the rain, any cold, wet thing, I don’t really…” This is followed by one of her signature twitchy face shutters.
1. Bella doesn’t want to go to Jacksonville
At the hospital following her near-death experience at the ballet studio, Edward tells Bella that she should go to Jacksonville, where she’ll be safe with her mother and away from all of the vampire craziness. Rather than simply telling Edward that she loves him and wants to remain in Forks, she does that face shutter again while uttering one of the best lines in cinematic history: “What? Are you…no. No! How…I don’t even…wh- what are you talking about? You want me to go away? I- I- I, no, I can’t leave, I- I-.”
Final thoughts
I absolutely love that Twilight has taken on new life 15 years after its release as an unintended cringey comedy. It’s something that has spread to the franchise as a whole, with audiences poking fun at Renesmee, the CGI baby of Bella and Edward, and Jacob’s buoyant, “Bella! Where the hell have you BEEN, loca?!” Yet at the same time, there are still some moments that I truly, un-ironically love. My favorite: when Edward lets Bella stand on his shoes to slow dance at prom, “Flightless Bird, American Mouth” by Iron & Wine playing, twinkling lights everywhere. As her peers think about college and careers, she’s fully ready to become a vampire and join Edward in immortality.
If that’s not true love, I don’t know what is.
