PopHorror Let's Get Scared
I am not a fan of remakes, especially when it comes to horror films. There are so many bad ones out there that I must admit that this list was a lot harder to put together than I thought it would be. It was extremely difficult for me to narrow it down to just ten as there are countless ones to choose from. While there are some that I enjoy (such as The Blob, Dawn of the Dead, The Fly, and The Thing) the majority of them are just plain lousy and are cash grabs thrown together because the studios behind them didn’t have any original ideas and thought that audiences would flock to the theater to see them (Spoiler Alert: they didn’t).
After a lot of thought I give to you my list of the Top Ten Worst Horror Film Remakes.
(Please be aware that there are a lot of spoilers in this article, so read at your own discretion. I also know that some of my picks -and even some that I didn’t pick-may anger some people out there, so I apologize in advance.
10. A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)
1984’s classic A Nightmare on Elm Street is one of the best horror films ever and is Wes Craven’s crowning achievement that still holds up very well to this day if you ask me, so why would it need to be remade? Freddy was my favorite horror film icon growing up, and I don’t think that anyone will ever be able to play the character like Robert Englund did. I had my doubts about it when I first heard it was being remade in general, but I knew it was a bad idea when they revealed what Freddy looked like (he looks like some sort of alien or something).
I have absolutely no problem with Jackie Earle Haley normally as I think he is a talented actor, but he just beyond horrible in this role. Not only does he look ridiculous, but that weird annoying voice he uses is like nails on a chalkboard (seriously, what was he thinking?). The movie itself is just a poor imitation of the original and it just doesn’t work on any level. It was a huge challenge to make it all the way through it when I watched it, and even though I managed to do so I felt like I lost some IQ points in the process (and I didn’t have that many to begin with).
9. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)
I love the original movie and knew that remaking it was a bad idea as soon as it was announced. I knew we were in trouble once the people behind it kept bragging about how it was going to be even bloodier than the original film (even though there is relatively little blood in it) that they probably never saw it and knew nothing about it. I reluctantly watched it and thought that it was even more terrible than I thought it would be.
The cast is awful (why is Jessica Bial in this?), the blood and gore is pointless, and I just thought that the film itself was a snooze fest in general. I don’t think that the folks behind it got the original movie, so after everything was said and done, we ended I up with a crappy 2000s “slasher” flick that lacked anything that made the original such a classic and memorable horror film. Like the remake of A Nightmare on Elm Street, I had a hard time finishing this movie but somehow managed to do so and feel like I should have gotten a medal for doing so.
Without a doubt this is the absolute worst version of Leatherface to ever appear on screen, and that is saying something as I’ve also seen Texas Chainsaw 3D from 2013 and Leatherface from 2017, which are both quite bad as well.
8. Poltergeist (2015)
I’m not big on the original 1982 movie (please don’t hate me), but it is flawless compared to the remake. I always thought that the original reeked too much of Spielberg as it’s a little too cutesy for my tastes and isn’t very scary, but it if definitely better than the remake.
There are so many problems with the remake, such as the fact that the CGI looks terrible and there is an army of those clown dolls for some unknown reason, but the biggest issue I have with it is that this movie craps all over Zelda Rubinstein’s memory by replacing the character of Tangina with a piss poor imitation that isn’t even close to what it is supposed to be (why is the character a guy this time around? It makes no sense).
On top of everything else, it isn’t remotely creepy and is just plain boring. Without a doubt this remake is a prime example of the people behind it trying to cash in on the original film.
7. The Slumber Party Massacre (2021)
I love the original and think it is one of the most underrated and underappreciated slasher flicks of the 80s, so I was less than thrilled when I heard they were remaking it. It’s even worse than I imagined it would be and there’s a good reason that it was vomited onto cable with very little fanfare because it is terrible. It isn’t quite as clever as it thinks that it is and the big twist that takes place at one point is a giant miss in my opinion as it feels forced and doesn’t work.
I dare you to find one decent, likable character in the whole movie, and the fact that the writer decides to give the killer some sort of backstory makes no sense as he is just a generic maniac in the original that didn’t need some sort of detailed backstory. While it was cool that they gave a nod to the second movie by throwing in the guitar at one point it still doesn’t make up for the fact that this movie is an abomination in every sense of the word.
6. Cabin Fever (2016)
Seriously, why does this movie exist? Did the world really need a shot-for-shot remake of the original that came out just years earlier? Did Eli Roth need money that badly or what? I have a feeling it’s only a matter of time before he remakes Hostel, and it will be just as bad-if not worse-than this train wreck of a film.
5. The Wicker Man (2006)
I always cringe when I hear that Nic Cage is involved in anything, but he really phones it in this time around as his “acting” is even worse than usual this time out. The original 1973 movie is a classic horror film so I’m not surprised that someone tried to remake it, but they really should have reconsidered who was cast in the lead. Cage isn’t the only bad thing about it as the writing is atrocious at best, and there were times I felt bad for old Nic for having to spout off some of the terrible dialogue that he has. This movie will go down in history as one of the worst remakes ever made, but at least it spawned enough memes that a handful of people got a chuckle out of it.
4. The Fog (2005)
I have a feeling the people behind this one watched about half of Carpenter’s original film and were like “We got this! Let’s just cast that kid from Smallville, add some horrible CGI, and basically take out all the stuff that made the original awesome and people will love it!” I don’t know a single person who enjoyed this movie and while the original isn’t Carpenter’s best work in my opinion it is a masterpiece in comparison to this film.
I normally like Tom Welling, but he’s so bad in this movie I legitimately had a migraine because of his performance. This remake can be summed up in two words: Utterly terrible.
3. Prom Night (2008)
I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that the people behind it never saw the original movie because it has NOTHING to do with it. Seriously, what the hell is happening with this movie? Instead of a cool little slasher about someone killing off people that were involved in an accident that resulted in the death of a little girl we get some sort of mess about a psychotic teacher stalking a student? It’s like a bad Lifetime movie or something at best and calling it Prom Night is a huge insult to the original movie.
2. Black Christmas (2019)
While the first remake of Black Christmas from 2006 is pretty bad for a lot of reasons, at least the people who made it kind of tried make it like the original movie. That isn’t the case with the 2019 remake as it has zero to do with the original (or the 2006 remake). It is so bad that I am embarrassed for anyone involved with it.
Why is it called Black Christmas? I have no idea, but suspect it was to trick unsuspecting movie goers who liked the original into seeing it. There’s no other explanation if you ask me. I’ve heard countless stories about people going to see it and leaving the theater thirty minutes into it because it was that bad. The original is awesome, and I have always dug it, but this movie is the complete opposite of that. Billy and Agnes do not approve.
And the Worst Horror Film Remake is….
Mother’s Day (2010)
Oh, how I loathe this movie. Not only is it the worst remake I have ever seen, but it is also the worst movie I have ever seen in general (though 2014’s Cooties is a serious contender for that title). It has nothing to do with the original, there is not one likable character in the entire movie, and the acting and writing are so bad that everyone involved should be ashamed and barred from ever making a movie ever again (honestly, I have seen better acting in bad high school plays, for Pete’s sakes. Seriously).
The original movie is about a crazy old lady and her two homicidal sons, but this movie is about…something else. I can not put into words how terrible it is, but it is one of those movies that is so infuriatingly bad that it makes you want to kick in your TV screen, so you don’t have to watch it anymore. It’s a total and complete slap in the face to the original, and I could live to be 150 years old and will still not understand how anyone would have given it the greenlight. I know I may sound harsh here, but this movie really is that bad.
Honorable Mentions:
- Day of the Dead (2007) – This movie is so bad I actually felt nauseous watching it.
- Martyrs (2015) – The original film is a modern classic. This remake is not.
- Child’s Play (2019) – It isn’t that bad if you pretend it isn’t supposed to be a Chucky movie, but it still isn’t anything to write home about.
- Pet Sematary (2019) – Remember in the original movie and novel when Ellie got run over and came back as a zombie? Yeah, that isn’t what happened, but the people behind this remake seemed to think so.
- Carrie (2013) – The CGI effects are sooooooo bad.
- Friday the 13th (2009) – I honestly couldn’t finish it even though I tried to 3 times.
Did your least favorite remake make the cut? Tell us in the comments!
