Review – BAD MILO! (2013)

You ever hear about a movie that sounds good but you suspect it’ll be lackluster, but you go ahead and watch it anyways and expect something lackluster – and then get something completely lackluster? That’s the story of my relationship with Bad Milo!

Duncan (Ken Marino) discovers that his stomach pains and 90-minute trips to the bathroom are caused by a polyp. But this isn’t an ordinary polyp. It’s actually Milo, a monster that comes out of his ass and kills whoever is causing him stress! Killing Milo is out of the question as it will reduce Duncan to a vegetative state. Duncan’s only choice is to bond with Milo and, hopefully, learn to control him – and his stress levels.

Sounds like a fun time at the movies, right? Well, it’s not. Bad Milo! is basically a combination of Basket Case and Monkey Shines without the charms or fun of either.

The biggest draw here is, undoubtedly, the puppetry. Not only is it pretty solid, but I’ll be damned if Milo isn’t one of the cutest little buggers to come around since Gizmo. Just look at him with those big black eyes! If it doesn’t melt your heart, nothing will.

But when Milo gets pissed, the guts and gristle and blood go a-flyin’! Unfortunately, aside from one juicy bit involving castration-via-teeth, the blood is mostly CGI and the kills are nothing to write home about. Given Milo’s ability to enter and exit Duncan through his sphincter, why couldn’t we have Milo rush up someone’s bum and burst through their stomach? Or how about bore his way out the top of someone’s head? Nope. Apparently, that would have required too much effort.

Speaking of lack of effort, the writers didn’t seem to care much about the lead characters as they’re pretty generic and uninteresting. I found myself caring more about Highsmith (Peter Stormare, who’s good in anything) and his relationship with his wise-ass bird – “Shut up, or I’ll clip your wings off!” Hell, make a movie about them! It would be far more entertaining that what we’ve been given. Also, Highsmith and his bird are given most of the comedic bits here. Sure, there’s a chuckle or two to be had elsewhere, but most of the comedy is bland, stupid, unintelligent and flat.

Final Thoughts:

Bad Milo! is a pretty uneventful flick that will only satiate the hunger of those who’ll eat anything. Unfunny, uninteresting, unexploited. I practically forgot about it after watching it. You will too.