PopHorror Let's Get Scared
Eddie Bammeke’s film, There’s No Such thing As Zombies, is a 2020 horror comedy about a prescription drug that turns people into zombies. No, not just zoned out sleepwalkers, but actual zombies.
There’s No Such Thing As Zombies was directed by Eddie Bammeke (Confusion and the Survivor 2022) from a script written by Michael Haberfelner (Talk of the Dead 2016). Both men worked as producers here, along with actress Luana Ribeira (Zombie Armageddon: The Ultimate Collection 2016), who played Carlotta in the film. Other actors include horror icons Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry, along with Rami Hilmi (Video Shop Tales of Terror 2023), Rudy Barrow (Invasion Planet Earth 2019), and Scott Hillier (Losing Faith 2023). The music for the film, including the closing credits song, “Zombie Love,” was written by Dave Dictor with his band, the real life ‘70s punk rockers, MDC.
Synopsis:
Carlotta invites her ex Paul back into her house, ignoring the fact that he’s actually a zombie – much to the dismay of her husband Colin, who had (unbeknown to Carlotta) killed Paul in the first place.
The official synopsis of this film leaves much to be desired. There’s so much more going on here. The news is reporting an outbreak of zombiism allegedly caused by the drug Troxidil (possibly inspired by Krokodil), a powerful but popular antidepressant. Initially, the drug has a calming effect that almost instantly relaxes the taker and washes away their anxiety. There doesn’t seem to be a recommended dosage… people just pop the pills (or add them to their spouse’s morning coffee) whenever the mood strikes them.
The reports of zombies has led to the creation of the ZIA, an underground organization that hunts down these supposed monsters and takes them out (the commercials for this service are fantastically funny). We get to follow agents Abigail Tall (the always amazing Debra Lamb) and her protégée, Anthony Small (Scott Hillier), as they investigate a zombie sighting in a small UK neighborhood. How do they get there, you ask? In a freaking DeLorean, complete with flux capacitor, natch. So, what’s stopping them from getting their, uh… man?
It could be the complete rejection of anything zombie-related by the drug company. During a clips of a televised investigative news report, a rep for the company (Lynn Lowry) vehemently denies these claims, even when faced with irrefutable evidence that’s literally chomping at her face.
And who are Agents Tall and Small searching for? Carlotta’s (Ribera) former husband, Paul (Hillier), who died and then undied after he was murdered by his best friend, Colin (Barrow). When Paul finally stumbles back home, he finds Carlotta is now married to Colin, although his instinct to tear the flesh from their faces is much stronger than any jealousy he might have felt. Of course, Colin is none too pleased to see Paul show up, and Carlotta insists that she let him in and find out where he’s been all this time. Watching them deny and then finally give in to the fact that Paul is now one of the walking dead is one of the best parts about There’s No Such Thing As Zombies.
Is There’s No Such Thing As Zombies a social commentary on Big Pharma and society’s desire to make everyone feel the “correct” way? Or is it just an excuse to throw smart characters, dry humor, familiar faces, and a really cool car together for 90 minutes? It’s hard to say. But the end result is a hilariously witty, bitey romp through one of the world’s goriest love triangles. If you love a big dose of humor with your zombies, you should definitely give There’s No Such Thing As Zombies a go.
