PopHorror Let's Get Scared
It’s time for another Vinegar Syndrome Blu-ray release! Today, we’re talking about Thomas R. Rondinella’s 1989 horror comedy, Blades. I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “Blades, huh? Must be about knives… a slasher! Or maybe about ice skates… a hack ’em up hockey team! Ooh or maybe it’s about scissors… a maniacal hairdresser!” And I’m here to tell you that you’re wrong. On all accounts.
Blades isn’t about a knife—or any other sharp weapon—or ice skates or even a pair of bloody scissors. This film is about a killer lawn mower. I can see you nodding knowingly as it all starts to make sense. “But wait,” you say, “don’t you mean a demented gardener who uses a lawn mower to kill people?” Nope. I do not. I really mean that this film is about a lawn mower that putters around a prestigious golf course and runs people over whenever it feels like it, leaving them a bloody yet very flat mess on the fairway. So, now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s get into the review itself.
Synopsis:
People are showing up sliced and diced at Tall Grass Country Club. Norman, the owner of the club, wants to avoid undue publicity on the eve of the televised pro-am tournament, and encourages new pro Roy to get to the bottom of the killings quietly. Roy has a history of alcohol problems since he choked while playing a big tournament years before, and Kelly, who feels she should have been hired as the new pro, isn’t making the situation easier for him, insisting they cancel the tournament until the killer can be stopped. After a seedy character named Deke Slater is arrested, the owner relaxes, but Roy and Kelly begin to feel that Deke’s rantings about a runaway lawnmower aren’t so far-fetched after all, and after Deke is released, the three of them prepare for a battle to the death out on the uncharted fairways.
Blades was directed by Thomas R. Rondinella (A Fool And His Money 1989) from a script written by himself and William R. Pace (Charming Billy 1999). The story itself was concocted by John P. Finnegan (Girl School Screamers 1986 – our review). The cast includes Robert North (Barbarian Queen II: The Empress Strikes Back 1990), Victoria Scott (Kingpin 1996), Jeremy Whelan (The Beastmaster 1982), Holly Stevenson (Creepshow 2020), and Lee Devin (George Washington II: The Forging Of A Nation 1986).
What Works in Blades
Blades was released under the Troma umbrella, so I expected certain boxes had been marked. Humor? Check. Blood and guts? Check. Over the top acting? Check.
The film is also set up like Jaws on land, right down to the music, the mower POV, and even full scenes taken right from the 1975 blockbuster. Unfortunately, no one said, “You’re gonna need a bigger golf cart.” But we do get a Mrs. Kintner “you knew!” slap. And when our leads, Roy (North), Deke (Whelan) and Kelly (Scott), finally capture a mower, they believe that this can’t be the one killing people because the deaths were caused by a machine with a blade radius twice its size. So they decide to do an autopsy on it, cutting open the bag attachment looking for blood and not just grass clippings. You’re probably wondering, “Is there a USS Indianapolis-like monologue?” “Do Roy, Kelly and Deke hunt the maniacal mower down in this ocean of well-trimmed lawns?” “Is their golf cart actually named Orca?” “Could there even be a climactic Quint-esque death?!?” You’ll have to watch to find out.
The idea behind Blades is quite clever. The filmmakers were able to pull this off with an old lawn mower with a bunch of extra parts welded on, permission to film on a golf course, and a pile of sand and brush littered with some torn up clothes and a gallon or two of fake blood. It’s rather ingenious. Add to that the humor of the script and the stony faces of the three heroes and you’ve got B movie gold.
What Doesn’t Work in Blades
Like I mentioned above, this film was released by Troma, so I had certain expectations from it. While I will admit that those expectations were met, I will also say that Blades didn’t quite give me the tongue-in-cheek ridiculousness that I was expecting. There are two different tones here… there’s a serious, dramatic feel as well as some awkward, over-the-top humor. I think Blades may suffer from an identity crisis, not sure exactly where it wants to land. A film like this will only work if it identifies as one or the other. Unfortunately, that is not the case here. It wants to be Airplane! (1980), but it’s more like Surf II: The End of the Trilogy (1983 – our review). It just can’t quite hit the mark.
2k Restoration
I have no idea how Blades looked before the 2k transfer, but I will say that it looks really good here. The colors and light are bright and crisp. The sounds and dialogue are pristinely clear. I will mention that the background sounds can sometimes be a bit louder than the dialogue, but it’s not enough to hamper the viewing experience. The audio commentary with Rondinella and Pace reminds us that actor Jon McBride, who played Larry Stromberg, went on to not only murder his girlfriend and her mother, but went to prison and became a pastor while serving his time. You can’t buy that kind of publicity.
From Vinegar Syndrome’s Blades page:
This special limited edition embossed slipcover (designed by Earl Kessler Jr.) is limited to 5,000 units and is only available here at VinegarSyndrome.com!
The Tall Grass Country Club offers its members a luxury getaway, with all the best in sport and relaxation. But when a mangled body is discovered on the club’s prized golf course, right before a nationally televised tournament, panic ensues at the possibility of a killer on the loose, and even worse, that the death might cause some bad press. Enlisting the expertise of Roy, a has been golf pro, along with disgruntled pro-hopeful, Kelly, to unmask the culprit behind the carnage, the club’s hard nosed owner soon finds himself with even bigger problems when additional victims begin to turn up, and all signs point to the killer being an out of control, bloodthirsty lawn mower!
A highly original send up of Jaws, from the makers of Girls School Screamers, Thomas R. Rondinella’s Blades is goofy, gory, and more than a little bit absurd. Vinegar Syndrome presents the worldwide Blu-ray debut of this Tromatic classic, freshly restored in 2K from its 35mm original negative and featuring an in-depth making-of documentary.
directed by: Thomas R. Rondinella
starring: Robert North, Jeremy Whelan, Victoria Scott, Holly Stevenson, William Towner
1989 / 98 min / 1.85:1 / English StereoAdditional info:
• Region Free Blu-ray
• Newly scanned & restored in 2k from its 35mm original camera negative
• Commentary track with director Thomas R. Rondinella and writer William R. Pace
• “Fore Warning” – a making-of documentary featuring interviews with the cast and crew
• Still gallery
• Reversible cover artwork
• English SDH subtitles
So, if you’re looking for a fun homage to Jaws with some humor and a few sandtraps thrown in, then look no further than Blades. You can get a copy at wither the Vin Syn site or on Amazon at the link below.
