Top 10 Fake Rock Bands in Horror Movies

From The Monkees to Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem to Sex Bob-om, there are so many fake bands in film and television there’s actually a Fictitious Rock and Roll Hall of Fame (whereThis is Spinal Tap and The Blues Brothers reign supreme). Although fake bands are most often associated with children’s programming and comedy, the horror genre has its fair share of mock-rockers and counterfeit crooners.

Whether essential to the storyline or merely adding sonic stylings to a sinister chiller, check out some of horror’s most famous phony music makers below. Rock on!

Ivan and the Terribles from Motel Hell (1980)

The punk rock outfit Ivan and the Terribles might have had a long and illustrious career, if they hadn’t crossed paths with Farmer Vincent and his sister Ida, proprietors of the secluded Motel Hello. In addition to providing lodging, the demented duo operates a smokehouse famous for its tasty meats. Unfortunately for Ivan and crew, stranded travelers are the “secret ingredient”. It takes all kinds of critters to make Farmer Vincent’s fritters.

Low Shoulder from Jennifer’s Body (2009)

The indie/emo/douche-rock band Low Shoulder is pivotal to the plot of Jennifer’s Body. Smart enough to realize they’re talentless hacks, they employ an out-of-the-box method for achieving success in the music industry: They sell their souls to the Devil. Their plan might have been successful if they hadn’t confused the mega-slut Jennifer (played by Megan Fox) for a virgin; everyone knows Satan likes his sacrifices to be pure and inexperienced. I wonder if this is how Justin Bieber became famous?

Ain’t Know Rights from Green Room (2016)

The newest potential- inductees to the Fictitious Rock and Roll Hall of Fame are also some of the most tragic. While touring the country in a van is never easy, Ain’t Know Rights, the punk band at the core of Green Room, endure a nightmare gig of epic proportions. When the fledgling rockers agree to play off the beaten path, they had no idea the venue was also the epicenter of criminal activity for a local chapter of neo-Nazis. The last show of their tour may just be their last show ever.

The Hangman’s Joke from The Crow (1994)

Dreamy frontman Eric Draven (played by Brandon Lee) helmed the goth-rock band The Hangman’s Joke before he and his fiancé were tragically murdered on Devil’s Night, the night before Halloween; they had intended to marry the following day. The band’s hit single, It Can’t Rain All the Time, brought comfort to those whose lives they touched. Lee’s shocking “accidental” death on the set of The Crow makes this fictional tragedy both ironic and foretelling.

DEATHGASM from Deathgasm (2015)

DEATHGASM (spelled in all caps “because lower case is for pussies”) is the “brutal as fuck” death metal band featured in last year’s hit horror comedy from New Zealand. Brodie and Zakk (played by Milo Cawthorne and James Blake) procure mysterious sheet music from their idol, Rikki Daggers (Stephen Ure) that promises “Ultimate Power” to those who play its demonic song. It’s a religious conservative’s ultimate nightmare when the oft-purported link between heavy metal music and Satanism turns out to be 100% true!

Big Fun from Heathers (1988)

In Heathers, Veronica Sawyer (Winona Ryder) is sucked into a murder plot by her sociopathic boyfriend J.D. (Christian Slater); the duo disguise their crimes as suicides. As a response to the “crisis” the fictitious band Big Fun releases a pop music PSA with the single Teenage Suicide (Don’t Do It). It backfires, however, when suicide becomes a “popular” thing to do. The song was actually written by musician Don Dixon who included the sardonic ditty on his greatest hits album: (If) I’m A Ham, Well You’re A Sausage (1992).

The Sacrifyx from The Gate (1987)

When lightning exposes a seemingly bottomless hole in his backyard, 12-year old Glen (Stephen Dorff) and his friend Terry (Louis Tripp) find answers in an album by demonic rockers The Sacrifyx: The Dark Book. Turns out, the hole is just you average, run-of-the-mill portal to a dimension of spiritual madness and endless suffering where elder gods plot humanity’s destruction. Further information is gleaned by playing the record backward (obviously!). It’s more proof of a connection between heavy metal and Satanism. Geraldo was right!

Bloodlust from The Last House on the Left (1972)

It’s the darkest kind of foreshadowing: When Mari and Phyllis (played by Sandra Cassel and Lucy Grantham) head out for a night of fun in The Last House on the Left, they plan on seeing a band called Bloodlust. Instead, they become victims of Krug Stillo and his bloodthirsty gang. While we never see the fictitious band, we’re told Bloodlust once dismembered a live chicken on stage. The band’s name and description are hardly incidental; in the 1970’s, there was a growing perception of hard rock music as a gateway to actual violence.

The Nameless Band in Don’t Go in the Woods (2010)

While a bit too emo for my taste, the nameless band featured in the musical horror Don’t Go in the Woods is undeniably talented. While helmed by egomaniacal troubadour Nick Storm (Matt Sbeglia), each member turns out to have excellent songwriting chops—even the drummer! Nick intended to bring his act on an isolated camping trip for creative brainstorming, confiscating all drugs, alcohol, and cell phones along the way. His plans are thwarted by the sudden arrival of a posse of groupies—not to mention a murderous interloper lurking among the trees. If the dark fiend doesn’t kill them all, infighting between the band members and their girlfriends just might!

Banjo & Sullivan from The Devil’s Rejects (2005)

While the country western band Banjo & Sullivan may be best remembered for meeting a tragic end at the hands of the Firefly family in The Devil’s Rejects, few fake bands are given such extensive backstories. Writer/director Rob Zombie even produced an album by the nonexistent twang outfit; you can pick up your own copy of Banjo & Sullivan: The Ultimate Collection on Amazon. Tracks include Dick Soup, Killer on the Lamb, and the tragically prophetic Lord, Don’t Let Me Die in a Cheap Motel.

 

If you can’t get enough of me here at Pop Horror, follow me on Twitter @josh_millican for quality horror articles worthy of your attention.

About Joshua Millican

Josh Millican is the Director of Community at CryptTV and has been blogging for over 5 years. You can follow Josh on Twitter @josh_millican.

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